Connections
As I head into 2025, I’m really excited to launch the dots-connections for change. I’ll be formalising myself as a social enterprise to better serve the communities I work with, and to better make explicit the connections between my different work areas.
Whether that’s 1:1 support, wellbeing programmes, community engagement, research or creating spaces for imagination, joy and pleasure, I’ll be joining the dots, sharing learning, and giving myself time and space to build on the work of those who came before me, to connect with those who are working in different sectors to me, to try, to make mistakes, and to try again.
I quit salaried work to become self employed just as the world shut down in 2020 and in those five years, I’ve been lucky enough to be a researcher for hire for so many amazing clients. I’ve looked at how communities responded to COVID, I’ve helped people think about how to make education more gender equal, I’ve supported children and young people’s participation in funding decisions and I’ve explored the impact of perpetrator programmes. I’ve also made films on how services made a difference to people, supported survivors to participate in decision making and built table sculptures, sewed, collaged, made wreaths and led massages and breathing exercises. I’ve started a Phd, rediscovered how much I love dance routines and I've just finished writing a romance-suspense-holiday-read. On the face of it, none of the things have much in common. Dance routines and page turners aren’t the first things that spring to mind when we think about the serious work of change making. But of course, they are deeply linked. They’re all about feeling and doing better. They’re about community, about joy, about pleasure, about hope. They’re about relationships. Whether sexual, familial, in our community or within our institutions, relationships are the heartbeat of our lives.
One of the biggest frustrations I’ve faced in the last five years is feeling like I’m saying the same thing over and over and over again to different people, that the relationships I’ve built within sectors aren’t necessarily threaded through across sectors. The core messages, however, are always the same; organisations need long term funding to make an impact. There are too many policies that are confusing. The sector is burnt out. Relationships and community are fundamental. I also work across borders, and some of the work I’ve seen from other parts of the world, and other parts of the UK, simply hasn’t travelled. We miss a trick when we don’t collaborate and learn from each other. The longer we stay in silos the harder it is to make change.
Working across silos means expanding what, and who, we mean by community- who is “us” when we’re working together. I read a fascinating PhD adjacent book over the holidays- Ritual, and I’m currently listening to Flow. Both of these books touch on what makes a good life, and both of these books explore the power of social connection. It’s something we feel in our bones, it’s a part of what makes us human. As a politics nerd and sociologist, I’m always drawn to context and constructions, but of course, nothing is that simple. This is another silo I’m excited to pull myself out of. Not one approach has all the answers (if that even exists), but what almost everyone can agree on is how instinctive it is to connect.
We only had to see in the pandemic how deeply important connection is to us, and what happens when that ability to connect is removed. We are still seeing the negative effects of this isolation and disconnection. Connections allow us to be seen, to be heard, to be loved, to have fun and to find meaning. And like all things human, it’s messy, hypocritical, complicated, contradictory and absolutely wonderful. Connection is a primordial need, one that we’ve developed through singing, dancing, sitting, talking, eating, mourning and celebrating together, one that we’ve built families and love and pleasure around, one that we’ve developed communities from and created structures around. Connection is at the heart of who we are as humans.
This year, through the dots, I’ll be focusing explicitly on connections- a lighthouse to guide me.
I’m hoping that through my own journey of thinking out loud, I’ll continue to connect with others who are exploring what it might look like for communities and individuals to be and feel better, sharing our knowledge on what we know works. It’s only through strengthening these bonds that we can resist, navigate and create change. I’m excited to get started.
P.S.
Some ideas on building connections.
We know that social isolation and loneliness are bad for our health, but how do we increase our connections here and now?
It’s hard to say yes to socialising if you’re used to being alone, but give yourself small goals. See how it feels to do one thing with friends, and build up your social muscles. When restrictions were easing I went to a gig at the Ovo stadium in Glasgow and it was too much! I realised walks with friends were a much better way for me to get used to being around people again. Find something that you like doing, and invite a friend along, or find a group in your area that runs social activities.
If you’re feeling super isolated, try to connect with one person a week. Then one person every few days, and one person a day. This could be someone who works in a local shop, a relative, or a carer. After reading The Power of Strangers, I made a concerted effort to genuinely connect with one stranger a day, and it was great.
Don’t be afraid to join groups that you’re interested in, everyone is terrified of looking foolish when trying something new, and it’s likely that others will be feeling exactly the same as you. In 2024 I was inspired by my 10 year daughter’s discovery of dance routines. It reminded me of just how much I used to love dancing and with a good friend joined a weekly dance class.
If someone’s doing something interesting- reach out to them! I’ve made some amazing connections and learnt loads through connecting with people I thought were doing cool work.
If you’re reading this and thinking; I don’t have the time to do any, think about what you can do with the 5minutes you’re on the bus or at the shop, at the school gates, online, or interacting with someone once a week. Be realistic about how you feel and where you are right now, and be kind to yourself. Change can happen, one connection at a time.
